"...Yeah, that's right. I'm sorry, Lori. I was just so worried about you."
I pulled up the corners of my lips and didn't ask again.
But under the blanket, my fingers curled tighter and tighter until my nails bit into my palms. The pain was blinding, and I didn't so much as flinch.
My mind kept circling back to what Malcolm had just said. The System blocks her pain.
So that was it.
I'd never been able to figure it out before. They tortured my body so brutally. Wouldn't Miriam feel the pain too, once she took over?
But no.
Everything was rigged in her favor. In theirs.
What a joke.
"Cole. Finn. Malcolm."
I lifted my head suddenly, my gaze bleak. "It hurts so much. My whole body. It hurts so much I want to die."
Their expressions froze. "What?"
I didn't answer. Just looked at them, eyes full of mockery.
Then I bolted, limping and lurching, and threw myself into the oncoming traffic.
The second attempt failed too.
Finn yanked me back from the edge of death, his face white with shock.
The driver leaned on his horn and screamed out the window. "Are you insane? You wanna die, do it somewhere else!"
All I felt was disappointment that I'd failed again.